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7 Simple Steps to Master New Habits and Reinvent Yourself

7 Simple Steps to Master New Habits and Reinvent Yourself

Simple, Actionable Strategies for Lasting Change

Changing your life is simple.

It isn’t always easy, and it requires effort, but it is simple.

Simple is doable. So why do so many of us struggle to make the changes we desire?

People believe the key to changing your life is taking massive action, but that is a myth. It may work for a few people riding a giant wave of motivation, but for most of us, the thought of taking big action is intimidating and paralyzing.

When we do take big action our brain often isn’t ready for it. The change we are trying to make is unfamiliar, and we feel incongruent. Like a rubber band stretched too far, we inevitably snap back into the known, often with painful results.

If this sounds like you, it’s okay. There is a better way.

The simpler, less glamorous route to change is tiny action. Small steps you can start right now towards a goal that doesn’t overwhelm your brain. These tiny steps make it simple to show up and build momentum towards a new identity. As author James Clear puts it: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to be.”

These tiny votes add up and change your life.

Below are seven simple steps you can use to reinvent yourself. I use this process on myself and to successfully guide my clients towards the change they want.

1. Clarify Your Aspiration

Before you start, you need to know where you are going. More than just goal-setting, gaining clarity on your aspiration is about deciding what type of person you want to become. Identity-based goals are more impactful and sustainable than means-based goals. For example, rather than setting a goal to lose 10 pounds, choose to become a healthy person who makes conscious nutrition choices. You can then reverse-engineer from this identity to discover what habits you need to develop to become that person.

2. Identify Habits for Success

To achieve any aspiration, you need a system of actionable behaviors. To become a new person, that system is the collection of habits you do regularly. If you want to become a writer, identify the habits that successful writers have. My favorite way to do this is a simple brainstorm. Write the identity you wish to have in the middle of a sheet of paper, set a timer for 5-10 minutes, and list as many behaviors as you can think of that successful writers have. Free your mind from limiting beliefs during this exercise.

3. Choose Habits You Want to Do

After identifying all the habits you could do, choose the habits you want to do. These will be behaviors you are motivated to pursue and that are relatively easy to perform. Mark the habits on your list that speak to you and are easy to do. The trick is to choose behaviors you can actually get yourself to do. If you want to get stronger but the nearest gym is a 20-minute drive in traffic and full of bodybuilders, then the friction is probably too high to get started. Instead, you could select a habit of doing push-ups every time you use the bathroom at home.

This process should narrow your list down to a handful of habits you can design into your day. It can be effective to work on more than one habit at a time, but my advice is to tackle no more than three.

4. Design and Integrate Habits

Once you have selected a couple of habits that resonate with you, it’s time to design and position them for optimal success. To achieve that, you want to design them as small as possible so you can practice consistency without relying on motivation. I use the Tiny Habits method created by Professor BJ Fogg, a mastermind in behavior design. Using the Tiny Habits approach, we design a tiny habit ‘recipe’ that shrinks a habit down to a version you could do even on your worst day. Your tiny habits recipe would look something like this:

After I ___, I will…

After I turn on the coffee machine, I will do five squats.

Turning on the coffee machine is the cue to do the squats. The most effective way to make a new behavior habitual is to attach it to an existing habit. The old habit becomes a context cue for the new habit. Your brain then develops an association between the two behaviors, reinforcing the new habit.

5. Commit to Change

Locking in a new habit is first and foremost about showing up. So is stepping into a new identity. Take meditating for example: every time you sit down on the cushion, you strengthen the neural pathway labeled ‘meditation.’ Every time you let go of your thoughts, you gather evidence that you are a meditator. It is becoming your identity by taking action. You are changing physiologically and psychologically. Forget the outcome of the behavior for now and simply master the habit of showing up. Another effective way to commit is to create an accountability mechanism that supports your consistent efforts. Hiring a coach to hold you accountable and troubleshoot challenges is an excellent option, but even enlisting a trusted friend can be a game-changer.

6. Celebrate Showing Up

The secret weapon for locking in a new habit is celebration. One of the keys to successful change is feeling good about it. As you’re building a new habit, celebrate every time you succeed in showing up. The trick is to celebrate immediately after performing the behavior to trigger dopamine release and build a neural association between the new habit and good feelings. The celebration can be anything from a private dance party to a simple smile. Do it immediately after performing the habit. For even better results, celebrate when you remember to do it, during, and after.

7. Reflect and Iterate

Changing your habits is an exploration. Think of yourself like a scientist doing an experiment. You hypothesize that a new behavior will work under certain circumstances, and you run an experiment to test the theory. For example, you start practicing mindfulness meditation in the corner of the lounge before dinner, but you quickly encounter a variable you hadn’t considered: your kids want to watch TV. Rather than concluding that meditating is too hard, reflect on the situation and adjust your hypothesis—what if I meditated in my car after dropping the kids off at school instead?

Habits can undergo a range of iterations before you land on something that organically flows into your lifestyle. When they don’t stick, the problem is almost always a design flaw rather than a personality flaw. The key to avoiding discouragement and staying consistent is developing a practice of reflection where you review changes you are trying to make, considering what is working and what adjustments will lead to greater success. Be a scientist.

Bonus Step: Join a Community of Support

According to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. While this may be an oversimplification, surrounding yourself with like-minded people on a similar journey of change is a smart choice. These peers will become part of the reinforcing environmental architecture, contributing to more nourishing soil for your new habits. Picture receiving a high five from your workout buddies after grunting through 15 burpees. This shared sense of identity is a powerful motivator, and the social rewards reinforce your new habits by making you feel good.

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